I Won't Lose You
by Apinapoikaerkki
Summary: When a shooter attacks Seattle Grace Mercy West, Owen finds himself separated from Cristina. He goes to find her, but things get dangerous when the shooter finds her too. Who lives? Who dies? The season 6 finale from Owen's POV. Crowen and slight MerDer.


**Author Notes: Again, a HUGE thank to all who have read and/or given me feedback. I really appreciate it. So please, if you have something to say about my stories, don't hesitate to say it! :) And please, if you have something negative to say, please give something better than: "I hate your stories". And explanation would be nice!**

**Anyway, I wish you a nice reading experience! :)**

* * *

A shot.

Searing pain blew from his shoulder and rushed through his body like a tidal wave, drowning everything else, wiping away all other senses and emotions. It scorched his very soul and consumed everything. Suddenly he didn't know where he was or what was happening. He felt himself falling, heard someone screaming somewhere far, far away, and suddenly the world became a swirling vortex of darkness. Someone was shouting something, might have been calling his name, but it didn't matter anymore. The world disappeared. The present disappeared. Time stopped existing. All that was left was the past, the events that now rolled in his mind like a film, burning like a flame and washing his consciousness away among with the pain. There was but one thought left in his mind, shouting over the surge of memories and images, soaring with him through time and space: Cristina.

* * *

Owen saw the sun emerging behind the clouds as he stepped out of the hospital. He rushed forward, squeezed the side of the hospital bed and heard Teddy sigh from relief. They had made it. They had saved the patient.

There was a huge amount of people and vehicles in front of the hospital. Police officers, snipers, SWAT-troopers, paramedics, bystanders, ambulances, armored cars, squad cars. Owen heard from afar how the crowd exclaimed as the two doctors plunged from the hospital with the patient. The authorities also noticed them, and a bunch of policemen rushed to their aid.

"We've got a GSW straight from the OR", Owen explained as the men approached. "He's still in critical condition."

"Okay, let's get him to the paramedics." Two of the men grabbed the hospital bed and started to carry it towards the nearest ambulance. Owen was about to follow them, when one of the policemen grabbed him from behind and pushed him next to the wall. "I need to examine you, sir", the man said and started to run his hands across Owen's body.

"Have you got the shooter yet?" Owen asked.

"No", replied the police examining Teddy next to them.

"And the doctors, where are they?"

"Still in there. This is a secured area. We'll soon take you to interrogation."

The officers did their body search and then withdrew a little further. Teddy stretched her limbs and then sighed. "Oh thank God... Thank God, we're safe!" But Owen wasn't feeling so relieved. He was still staring at the doors and fear was taking hold of his heart. There was only one concern in his mind, and it wasn't his own safety.

Teddy opened her eyes, saw the anguished look on her friend's face, looked at the hospital and quickly realized. "She's still in there."

Owen's jaw tightened as he looked at the hospital. The urge to run back inside was becoming overwhelming. He had to find Cristina. He couldn't just stand there and wait for something to happen. If something was to happen – or had already happened – to her and he hadn't even tried to save her... He looked at Teddy with pain in his eyes. He didn't know what to do.

"Go", Teddy said and gave him a sad smile. "It's okay. You are making your choice. Go save her."

Owen looked at Teddy, and as she nodded, he dashed forward and ran towards the hospital.

"Hey!" the policemen shouted and sprinted after him. "You're not allowed to go there! Sir, you need to –"

"No!" Teddy's voice and appearance were as tough as iron as she stepped in front of the men, spreading her arms. The officers quickly moved her aside, but her delay was enough: Owen was already at the doors.

"Be careful!" Owen heard Teddy shout before he ran inside and the door clanged shut behind him.

Owen rushed forward at the deserted corridor, the sound of his steps echoing eerily. With every step he could feel the fear burning inside him. He wasn't afraid for himself. Or maybe he was, but right now his personal safety wasn't the main priority. Right now all he wanted was to find Cristina and make sure she was okay.

Room by room, corridor by corridor he moved though the hospital. With every doorway and every corner he expected to find himself staring at a corpse or worse, the face of the gunman. But it soon became clear that there was no one in the hospital – or at least not at that particular floor. Owen didn't know if that was a good thing or not. The gunman wasn't there. But neither was Cristina.

It was a miracle that Owen was able to move through the hospital undetected, given that there were multiple squads securing the place. But, as Owen knew, the squads secured the building one floor at a time, so as he ascended the stairway at the end of the hallway, he believed he had thrown them off for now.

It soon became clear that he was right. As he stepped to the third story bridge, he was greeted by a sight he remembered from his time in Iraq: a huge blood stain on the floor, next to what looked like dragging marks. Someone had been hurt here. Badly. Had there been any squads there, someone would've been guarding the scene. Now Owen was sure that he was on his own. He started to follow the line of blood while trying to keep his mind calm. He didn't know whose blood it was – from all he knew it might have been the shooter's own – but still his mind was starting to create horrible images of Cristina injured, shot, dead.

_No, _Owen thought as his mind was combining Cristina's face with the bodies of all those fellow soldiers he had tried to save in the desert. _Not this time. I won't lose you. You have to be okay. I won't lose you!_

The trail of blood led Owen right to the west wing. Down the hall was OR 1. Looked like whoever was injured, someone had brought him or her to surgery. A faint breath of hope awoke inside Owen's heart: maybe that someone had been her. Had he found her? Was she in there, safe and sound, possibly trying to save somebody's life? Or was she the one being saved?

With his heart pounding, Owen rushed to the scrub room door, opened the door and entered. To his surprise, he found Dr. Kepner and Dr. Grey sitting on the floor. The women winced and raised their eyes, then sighed in relief upon seeing him.

"Owen, thank God!" Dr. Grey exclaimed. "Derek has been shot, no one was down here, we didn't know what to do. Cristina is in there. She told me not to look, but she might need help!"

A million praises rushed through Owen's mind. _She is alive_. _She is okay_. _But Derek isn't_. Owen took a glance through the window and froze, his expression becoming grave-serious. _Oh shit!_

"Owen? What's wrong?" Meredith asked. Owen glanced at her and then turned his eyes back on the window while conjuring a strained smile to his face. "She looks to be doing okay. But I'll just head in there and see what I can do." He grabbed a mask from the shelf and walked to the door.

"Aren't you scrubbing in?" Meredith asked. Owen turned and tried to make his voice sound as steady and professional as possible. "I'll assess first. If she needs me, then I'll scrub in. And... Cristina was right, you should stay down there, okay? Both of you, don't move."

"Oh, thank God! There's a real surgeon here, now", Owen heard Dr. Kepner say to Meredith as he walked through the door. "That's good. Derek is going to be fine."

Outside the door, Owen stood still for a second, took a deep breath and then stepped to the OR, where Cristina and Dr. Avery were operating on Derek, who lay on the table unconscious. As soon as Owen entered, the man standing near the table turned around and the gun he had just held against Cristina's head now pointed directly at Owen, who quickly raised his hands. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, just calm down, calm down. Just tell me what the problem is."

"Owen." It was Cristina. She looked at Owen over her shoulder, her face wet with tears and her voice trembling with fear. Owen had never heard her voice like that. She was begging, like a little girl crying for her mother for help. "Owen..."

"It's okay", Owen comforted. "Don't be afraid." He looked at the shooter. "What's the matter?"

The shooter glared at him and then turned his gun towards Cristina, who jerked with fear. "I need her to stop operating. Now."

"If we stop operating now, the patient will die", said doctor Avery, who was standing at the other side of the table. The shooter raised his gun to him. "That's the point. Now you both stop working, or I'll shoot you both!"

"Hey!" Owen yelled, took a step forward and then stopped as the barrel pointed at him again. "Talk to me, let them be."

"Owen, I can't stop", Cristina whimpered.

"It's okay, just keep going. You're doing fine."

The shooter turned to Cristina again. "Stop fixing him!"

"Hold on! Talk to ME!" Owen yelled, taking a little step closer.

"Stay back!" The shooter made Owen stop and then turned back to Cristina. "Let him die", he commanded. "Let him lie there and die."

Cristina wept, but didn't stop operating. Neither did Avery.

Owen could see the man running out of patience. "Do you want me to shoot you?" he asked before forcefully prodding the gun against Cristina's neck. "STOP FIXING HIM!"

"No!" Cristina screamed in terror. "I can't!"

"You stop or I will SHOOT YOU!"

"Hey! HEY!" Owen yelled. He felt like he was being torn apart. "That is the woman that I love! You shoot her, you TOUCH her, and I will KILL YOU!"

"And I said _stay back!_" The man's hand was firm. The look in his eyes was metallic. "Maybe I'll shoot you first. I shoot you first, then I'll shoot her and then I'll shoot Shepherd. Is that what you want?"

Owen shook his head.

"I didn't come here for this. My wife is dead. He's responsible. I came here for justice, an eye for an eye. The only person I want in this room is Shepherd. Now _back off! _And you!" He placed the gun back against Cristina's head. "Step away from the table."

"Please", Cristina cried. Terror was spinning inside Owen's chest like a tornado. He needed to do something. Maybe if he could –

"Shoot me!"

At that moment everything stopped. Everyone raised their looks and turned around to see Meredith emerging from the scrub room. She was shaking, but the look on her face was determined. She looked at the shooter, who now stared at her, surprised, while still aiming at Cristina. "Shoot me", she said again.

"Meredith...", Cristina faintly whispered.

_Oh no, _Owen thought.

"You want justice, right? Your wife died. I know what happened. Derek told me the story." She paused for a second, closed her eyes and continued: "Lexie Grey is the one who pulled the plug on your wife. She's my sister. Dr. Webber, he was your wife's doctor. I'm the closest thing he has to a daughter. And the man on the table, I'm his wife. So if you want to hurt them the way that you hurt, shoot me. I'm your eye for an eye."

A brief moment of silence, a tiny moment of stillness... and then the shooter slowly moved his hand and took an aim at Meredith. His eyes filled with hatred.

"Meredith! No – Meredith!" Cristina shouted.

"Tell Derek that I love him and that I'm sorry."

The man took a few steps forward to get a better aim at Meredith, who stood still and stared at the barrel of the gun without a slightest trace of fear. In other circumstances Owen might have admired her fearlessness, but now it just made him angry. He wasn't going to let another person – especially a person who was important to Cristina – die today. This had to end. Now.

The man was close, just a couple steps away from him. If he could only make him look the other direction, distract him somehow, he could try to tackle him.

"Meredith", Cristina said hopelessly and then looked at Owen, silently asking for help. Their eyes met, and suddenly the soundless connection they had once shared was working again. He looked at her with a meaningful look and slightly nodded, and she understood immediately. "Wait, wait, wait, wait!" she shouted. "She's pregnant! You wouldn't shoot a woman who's pregnant? Please..."

The man hesitated. His eyes bounced from person to person and his ever so steady hand started to shake. Owen glanced at Cristina, she and doctor Avery looked back at him. Avery nodded. Owen prepared himself, tensed his leg muscles and pinned his eyes on the man. It was now or never... The man lowered his hand a little.

It all happened in a heartbeat, but it felt like a million years. Owen flounced forward, rushed towards the man, who apparently saw him from the corner of his eyes, because at that very moment he turned around and raised his weapon. As if in slow motion, Owen saw the muscle twitching in the man's cheek, saw his index finger pressing the trigger, saw the metallic look in his eyes, and then...

A shot. A burning pain. And as he fell to the floor and lost his consciousness, the last thing he heard was the sound of Cristina screaming.

* * *

Something moved in the blackness. The still void of dark nothingness started to swirl as something emerged from the hollow, slithering like a snake. That something caught Owen's attention, for it was disturbing the non-existence around him. Time didn't exist, space didn't exist, he didn't exist. Nothing was supposed to exist, yet still that something was there, it existed. It took a while for Owen to realize that that existing something was actually himself thinking. They were his thoughts, washing away the silky black veil, making him existing, re-connecting him to space and time. It was like waking up from a dream: suddenly he was real again.

As the senses of space and time returned, a tsunami of sensations hit him, effectively berthing him to real life. His somatic senses told him that he was lying on something soft and that someone was touching his shoulder. His auditory perception was hearing the voices of two women talking about a bullet. His visual perception was doing nothing, which told him that his eyelids were shut. But the most powerful sensation was coming from his nerves. And according to them, he was hurting like hell.

"Argh!" Owen groaned and opened his eyes.

"...and get me some sutures and cloths. And scissors", said Dr. Grey, who was sitting on his left, running her fingers across his shoulder.

"Yes, Dr. Grey", Dr. Kepner said, then looked down at Owen and saw him awake. "Dr. Hunt!" she said merrily. "You're back!"

"Dr. Kepner – the sutures? Now!" Meredith said impatiently

"Yea, right!" Kepner turned and went to get the supplies. Owen tried to lift his head and grunted again from the pain. "What the hell happened?"

Meredith took a quick glance at him. "You were shot and went unconscious for a while. Kepner and I brought you across the hall from the OR so that we can treat you in peace."

Owen grinned. "That would explain the pain. But what happened in the OR? Is everyone okay? Is Cristina..."

"They're all fine. After you went out, Avery disconnected the heart monitor and made Mr. Clark believe that Derek was dead. He left and Cristina started operating again."

"Are they still there? We must go help them..."

"No, no, no!" Meredith said as Owen was trying to get up. "My job is to help you. You were shot and we don't know how badly."

"Meredith, I'm fine, I –"

"Shut up and stop moving!" Meredith snapped. Dr. Kepner came back with the supplies. She gave Meredith the scissors and then started to wipe Owen's forehead with a wet cloth. Meredith attacked his sleeve with the scissors and quickly tore apart the fabric. Owen managed to turn his head and saw that there was a hole in his left shoulder. The skin around the aching wound was red with dried blood.

"See? It's not that bad, I'm fine", he said, but his words fell on deaf ears. Meredith grabbed his shoulder and turned him on his side. "Upper left shoulder, through and trough", she stated. "You're going to be fine."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you, now let me go", Owen said and tried to sit up, but the women quickly grabbed him and slammed him back down. "Don't even think about trying to get off this bed!" Meredith warned him, her eyes flashing dangerously.

_Jeez_, Owen thought. _Okay then. _The women started to patch him up. All went well until Meredith suddenly gasped and doubled over in anguish. Owen and Dr. Kepner glanced at each other, worried. "Are you okay?" Kepner asked.

"Yeah... Yea, I'm okay", Meredith replied, but clearly something was wrong, because she was squeezing Owen's shoulder a little too hard and catching her breath.

"Are you sure? Oh my God – did you get shot? You could be in shock and not know it! Let me feel you for..."

"I'm fine, I'm..." Meredith paused, took a deep breath and got a grip of herself. "I'm okay."

But Kepner's eyes told otherwise. She was looking down, shock on her face. "There's... There's blood spreading down your thighs."

"I'm... I'm having a miscarriage." Meredith closed her eyes. For a moment it looked like she was going to break, but then she nodded firmly, opened her eyes and wiped the grin of pain off her face. "Okay, we need to clean up this wound. Come on, Kepner, are you going to help me or not? Let's go!"

Kepner stood still for a while, opening her mouth and then shutting it trying to think of something to say, but then decided to leave it. As she and Meredith cleaned and tended his wound, Owen looked at the ceiling and sighed. Another life had been lost after all.

* * *

After patching up Owen, the trio returned to the OR, where Cristina and Dr. Avery were still operating. As soon as Owen saw Cristina, he was hit with a tremendous surge of relief. She was okay, she was alive, and at that moment, all he wanted to do was to hug her, embrace her and never let go, tell her over and over how much he loved her. Cristina, however, didn't even raise her eyes as they entered the room.

"How's Derek?" Meredith asked. "Is he okay?"

Cristina didn't answer.

"Cristina?"

"Um, he's doing fine", Avery replied. "We're almost done here."

"Meredith." Cristina's voice was dark and low. She still didn't look at them.

"Yea?"

"Did you take care of Owen?"

"I'm right here, Cristina", Owen said. "I'm fine."

"Good. Someone give him a chair, please. I don't want him standing up. April, please make sure that he stays put."

Owen looked at Cristina, worried. "Cristina..."

"I can't talk right now. Just please, do what you're told."

Owen, Meredith, Avery and April all exchanged a worried look with each other, but no one protested. Owen was given a chair and Dr. Kepner took it as her duty to make sure that he stayed on it. Turned out it was easier said than done, because every time it seemed like something was going wrong with the surgery, Owen jumped up and Kepner had to basically push him back down. Eventually she even went as far as threatening to punch him if he got up one more time ("You can be a back-seat-surgeon and aid them from here, but you must sit down or I swear I'll punch you. And I've never punched anyone, so please, _sit down_!"). Owen finally gave in and sat. And sat. Time went by, the surgery continued and he just sat. He had never felt so completely and utterly useless in his life. He was worried about Derek, but above all, he was worried about Cristina. He knew that behind her tough mask she was scared, she was terrified. She didn't show it, but Owen knew her. He knew that right now she was a plain carrying a bomb. A bomb that had just exploded, sending powerful blast waves that bounced back and forth from the walls inside her. Her interior was boiling, but her tough exterior gave away nothing.

30 minutes elapsed before the door finally opened and an armed squad entered.

"Oh thank God!" April exclaimed.

"What's the situation here?" one of the officers asked.

"We've got a 42-year-old male with a GSW to the chest. We're almost done fixing him", Dr. Avery informed.

"We also have a 41-year-old male with GSW, left shoulder, through and trough." April said.

"I've received medical care, I'm _fine_", Owen quickly said.

"Okay", the officer said. "Once you're ready, you are free to evacuate."

"What about the shooter?" April asked.

"He's no longer a threat."

"Oh."

"And we're done", Avery said, cutting the last string of the last stitch. He and Cristina backed away from the table and let out and exhausted sigh. Meredith also sighed in relief. His husband was safe.

"Okay, let's move", the officers said.

The room was quickly emptied. April and Avery took care of Derek and left with the officers along with the rest of the staff. Ultimately, only Owen, Meredith, Cristina and an officer waiting at the door remained. Cristina was staring at the offed monitor, motionless. Owen and Meredith looked at each other.

"Go", Owen told Meredith.

"What? No, I'm staying. She needs me."

"Meredith." Owen's voice was low but strong as he turned around to look her in the eyes. "_Derek _needs you know. Go."

"But she..."

"Go."

Meredith opened her mouth but then decided to leave it. She turned around and walked out the door. The officer waiting at the door looked questioningly at Owen.

"It's alright, we'll follow after."

"Alright", the man said and left. Owen turned around and slowly walked to Cristina. "Cristina? Are you alright?"

She didn't answer. She was just staring at the monitor, her expression totally blank. Owen carefully lowered his right hand to her shoulder. She twitched but didn't

pull away. "You did good today. You saved Shepherd's life."

No answer.

"Cristina", Owen said and gently rubbed her shoulder. "Talk to me. Cristina?"

"Did it hurt?"

"What?" Owen asked. He wasn't sure if he had heard correctly.

"The shooting. Did it hurt?"

"Um... yea. Yea, it did. Why?"

Cristina slowly turned around. Now Owen saw that her eyes were glittering. She slowly raised her hand and placed it on his wounded shoulder, on top of the white bandages. "You're bloody."

"Yea. I'm going to take a good shower once I get home."

"I watched you fall", Cristina said with a weak voice. She was staring at the bandages like she was in some kind of trance. "I heard a loud bang and I watched you fall. I saw you hit the floor, and you weren't moving. There was blood around you and you weren't moving. And I thought: _Why aren't you moving? Why aren't you moving? _And then he raised his gun again. He was going to shoot you again and then Avery disconnected the heart monitor so that he believed Derek was dead. So he left and we started to operate again. But you weren't moving. You weren't moving!"

Tears were now running down her cheeks. Owen grabbed her from the shoulders and locked eyes with her. "I'm okay now, Cristina. I'm alive. It was just a scratch."

"You were shot!" Cristina howled. Her hand was still on his shoulder. "He shot you! You fell and I didn't know if you were alive or not. And now I look at you and I can't stop thinking that he missed your hear by ten centimeters. He tried to kill you!"

"But he didn't", Owen said. "It's okay, I'm fine."

"You weren't moving. You weren't moving..." And suddenly she fell apart. Tears surged from her eyes as she let out a horrible, heartbreaking howl and collapsed against Owen, who wrapped his arms around her and held her as she lost all control of herself. She was crying, howling, holding him so tightly that it hurt and her body was totally limp, so that Owen had to physically support her to prevent her from collapsing to the floor. Tears were now escaping from his eyes as well and he embraced her, held her tighter than ever before as he felt her body shaking against his bare chest. "It's okay", Owen comforted. "It's okay."

"I thought I lost you", Cristina whimpered between the sobs. "I thought you were gone."

"No, Cristina. You didn't lose me. I'm not going anywhere. You hear me – I won't go anywhere. I will never _ever _leave you. I'm not going to die on you. I promise. Okay? I promise."

Cristina looked up. Her beautiful brown eyes were filled with tears. Her nose was running. Her hair was a mess and her face was damp with tears and sweat. And she was the most beautiful thing Owen had ever seen. "You promise?"

Owen nodded, swallowed and managed to smile. "I promise."

"Thank you. Thank you." Cristina squeezed him again but didn't cry anymore. Owen bent his head and kissed her forehead. "Are you ready to go?" he asked.

Cristina placed her cheek against Owen's chest. "Yea... Yea."

"Yea?"

"Yea."

"Okay." Owen let go of Cristina and placed his arm around her back. And together they walked out of the OR. The officers had luckily removed the dead from the hallways, but there were still all kinds of gruesome evidence of the shooting. Owen tried to get Cristina out of the hospital as fast a he could. And when they finally stepped out of the hospital, their faces reflected pure relief.

"Okay, let's get you checked by a paramedic", Owen said.

"Owen." Cristina looked at him, her brown eyes met his blue ones.

"What?"

"I love you."

A wide smile spread to Owen's face as he gently wiped a tear from her cheek and then gave her a soft kiss. "I love you too."


End file.
